What Men Don’t Tell Women by Roy Blount Jr

Author:Roy Blount Jr.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media

BLUE YODEL 15

JUBAL

They picked me up at the home and took me to the Tennessee Wilson plays. This bunch of women did. At the Pistable Chutch. I never been in one before, a Pistable Chutch, I don’t know who they wushup. My momma raised me Disciple of Christ. They drove nails in Jesus. If it was a Chutch of Bear Bryant, I might go to that.

They didn’t drive nothin in Bear Bryant.

We seen two plays and sat around a circle and they give us each a Fig Newton. They said, “Mr. Oxgood, do you have any eractions to the plays you’d like to share?”

I said I didn’t. They said why. I said, “It’s hard for a crazy man to think.”

They said, “Oh, Mr. Oxgood, don’t say that!” So I took it out.

Genly they’ll let me go on back to my room when I take it out.

They said, “Oh, Mr. Oxgood, put it back in!” But I got a good grip on it and held on.

But I lied about eractions. I had the eraction it was all crazy people in them plays. It wadn’t but one person in them plays that anybody would spend fifteen minutes with if they dint haf to and that was that Gennleman Caller.

Deliver me from all them women in them plays.

There was one woman said, “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” I ain’t that crazy. I am crazy, but I ain’t up for grabs.

Old Gennleman Caller broke the little glass horn off the unicorn. What use is a horn that breaks off? I’m crazy, but my horn ain’t broke. Old Bobby Wheat over in Lampasas had one he could crack hickory nuts and loosen rusted-in bolts with. Called it old WD-40. “Giver a lick with old WD-40,” us other boys on demolition’d say.

Them women probly dint know what WD-40 is. That means they don’t get about half the remarks in this world.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.